Gold on the streets.

I've been walking these streets and walking among many realities. One of the realities is the poverty, the other is the joy. There is such a joy in these people. As I asked God to teach me about their joy he began to speak to me about their heritage. He's sent me on a quest to discover the gold in the heritage of Ethiopia. When I focused on the gold in them, joy welled up in me. 

God said one thing to me. "Find the Gold in their heritage." What he really said to me was, "I see the gold in them, do you?" I'm keenly aware that the level of joy in my heart will reveal how much I agree with His perspective. I am keenly aware that my ability to serve people is defined by my awareness of the presence of that gold. 

We do not live in a world absent of God's love, we live in a world full of people who don't want to agree with it. The question I have to ask myself is, "Will I be the one who sees the gold in others, even before they do, or will I keep treasure covered by pointing out what poverty and fault I can find in them?

Will I agree with God's transforming love and be the presence of that, or will I come up with reasons why it's ok for me to not have to?

We were meant to fly

Flight.

Faith is so similar to flight. It makes no sense if you don't understand the laws of nature… or the nature of God. But those who are willing to run with everything they've got into the wind, fly.

If we could save the world, would we?

I've noticed something consistent about those who change the world. They choose to use their experience, failures and training in the moments when it matters... when it gets hard to do so. 

It's easy to agree with this in an action movie. Take Interstellar- Matthew McConaughey is in space, out of fuel, his partner is trying to kill him, his ship blows up and his computer tells him he's a fool for thinking he can survive. But that's when he gets that look in his eyes, the music turns epic and he saves humanity. Right place, right time for all of his skill and experience to be put on display. That is the moment he was trained for.

But what does that look like for me? What do I do in the hardest moments of my life? In the moments that seem unforgivable, inexcusable and when I have every right to tear down the person that I'm annoyed at..? Will I use all that I've learned and experienced to do what will bring life, or will I do what most of the dying world would do? 

Those who change the world, do so by changing the world for the person in front of them, in the moment they are in by choosing to behave in a way that is contrary to their setting. They will treat people in a manner that is beyond what the other deserves as an investment... as an introduction to a new normal.

Living a life of purpose.

The most common theme with my clients right now is a longing to live a life of purpose. 

Most of the conversations begin with a statement about how they are waiting to find their purpose in life. After just a few questions, we consistently find that it's not their purpose that they're waiting to find but rather it's consistency that they have not stepped into.

Living a life of purpose is about acknowledging what we love and doing consistent things that are defined by that love. 

I have yet to find a client or have this conversation with someone who doesn't actually know their passion. However, I find very few who are doing anything in their day that is driven by that passion.

- What is one thing that you will do today that embodies what you love talking about?

- What will you do every day this week that is defined by your belief of what is the most valuable thing in life?

- What are you willing to give part of your life to, 5 days a week for the next 3 months.

Living out the purpose of our lives is not about living the most intense week possible, rescuing good from the clutches of evil! It's about consistency. An offering, of life, for a moment, every day... to something that you believe is worth it.

When I was with Project:AK-47, working to rescue and rehabilitate child soldiers, the real work had very little to do with charging into violence and quenching the wrath of the oppressor. It was about coffee and conversations... with God, neighbors, teachers, kids, whomever God put in our path. It was about listening to people's hearts and inviting them to be part of a story... consistently.

Imagine, 15min a day, given to the most valuable thing in your heart for a year, 5 years, 30 years...

Achieving the "10,000 hour" summit of expertise starts the same way that the "20 hour" acquisition of proficiency begins... 2 days in a row; 1 week after another; a life of consistency defined by what we believe is worth it.

Living the life that I want...

The life that I have chosen vs. The life that I want. It is the residing presence of foolishness that makes me believe that those could be different things. If I am to change the life that I have chosen I must give up the things that I want, which have resulted in the life that I have chosen.

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I was recently working with a client who was feeling stuck. He'd come to me because he "didn't know what he wanted to do..." We started with a conversation of, "what if?" "What if what I'm currently doing is actually what I want to do..?" 

The getting-unstuck had begun.

The life that I live, the life that I see in front of me is the life that I have chosen. There's no way around that. Granted, it may be a life that I wouldn't have chosen had I been given the pencils to create my own cartoon. However, existing in a reality where I am not the only one living, breathing or wanting something, I have to acknowledge that I am living the life that I want. 

I may be working in a job that I hate, but It's because I have chosen not to leave it- the other options may be worse, or my choice may simply be to not experience the fear of unknown. 

I may be in a relationship that I'm deeply disappointed in, but if I believe that it is not the relationship that I have chosen and therefore the relationship that I want... I stand to be proven a fool. Rejection may seem to be not worth the risk. Feeling alone may be too painful. Not getting that feeling that "I was able to change him/her!" or "I was finally able to get her to love me!" would be too valuable of a moment to give up.

Am I driving the car that I want? Yes. Why? Because I have chosen not to live in debt; I have chosen to eat rather than spend all my money on a car; I have chosen to not steal. I have the car that I drive because in the process of life I have made choices... and those choices come out of what I want. 

If I've been abused, I have a choice in how I respond. 

As a Life Coach that has personally experienced the tsunami, the aftermath of the earth quake in Haiti, SARS, 5 terrorist organizations and 2 drug cartels I have seen that it is not a moment of trauma that changes us but rather our interpretation of and/or our response to that moment... Our choice in the moment of the reality of life that defines our future.

Am I angry? It's because I choose to demand something change.

Am I alone? It's because I choose to control my environment.

Here's me (a little overly simplified, but it makes the point)...

I don't have the car of my dreams because I would rather someone give it to me than I earn it. That's what something deep in me has defined as being loved- "to be provided for." I don't go get another job or do the work to earn my dream car because it would require me abandoning the possibility and hope of "being loved", according to what I may believe about love. If I want that car, I will likely need to let go of my want for that opportunity.

This is a reality that can be phenomenally empowering. Not only do I have the power to then enjoy my choices, it also gives me the power to choose something else. But what I have to understand is that to choose something else is to want something else. If I don't first understand what I'm getting out of an addiction, an abusive relationship, a job that I hate or a situation that I constantly complain about I do not yet have the power to see change in my life.

The question I have to begin with is, "What I'm I getting out of the place that I'm stuck in?"

"Why does this keep happening.!?"

In Gen 43, Joseph has his brothers in a rough spot. Their father tries to get his boys out of it by offering Joseph a gift. They brought him balm, resin and oil... The same things that the traders he was sold to as a child were carrying (Gen 37). They brought with them the smell that would likely trigger his trauma (smell is one of the strongest triggers of memory). God seems to have brought his pain and anger to the surface as he is presenting a moment to choose forgiveness and reconciliation... While it likely would have made it more difficult it may also have conditioned his heart for the deepest, most complete healing.

Are the hard moments that just seem to happen over and over actually beautiful moments for our deepest healing..? If so, it's a moment to choose his ways over ours, not in an understanding of what will come but in a wonder to experience the kingdom of God in our most vulnerable condition.

The place I need to recognize this is in my patterns in community. I tend to carry a belief that I'm not really worth spending time with. When that insecurity comes up, I often respond with, "Fine, just watch what I can do on my own!" So now, whenever that person flakes on the meeting, forgets to call back or seems to never reach out I am left with a moment that can either return me to my patterns of protecting myself or I can step into a moment of healing with direct access, through the reoccurring emotions, to the root of the lie. Only there can the truth be given it's rightful place and the pattern transformed. 

The reoccurring offense or pain may not be the torturous way of the world but rather an opportunity to my greatest freedom. In that place I may discover what I'm actually capable of in creating community.

Note: I do not believe that God causes painful things to re-occur for our growth. However, I firmly believe that he is faithfully with us as we live out our patterns so that we can step into healing, freedom and strength while experiencing hurtful moments.

Lesson 2: Insecurity is contagious, but so is freedom.

After asking 10 people I deeply respect what they've seen in me that most people wouldn't be willing to tell me, there was one lesson in particular that I could not ignore.

A good friend told me that he sometimes feels that he hasn't done enough with his life when he's around me. It hit me like a bolt of lightning that the moments he was referring to were ones when I was feeling insecure and I'd turned to my experiences to feel better... All I did was pass my insecurity on to him. 

When our behavior is driven by our insecurity, all we do is pass it on- Friend to friend, parent to child, husband to wife, speaker to audience, Christian to neighbor...

I couldn't ignore that I do this in relationships. Nor could I miss who was doing that to me even in these conversations. It was interesting to watch those who enjoyed being "superior" to me in this process, pointing out my wrongs seemingly just to put me in my place. 

There was a moment when time seemed to slow down. One of my mentors was cutting into me pretty good and I noticed the shadow of insecurity approaching. Suddenly I remembered something a friend had said a while back, "maybe it's ok to feel insecure..." It left me in this interesting place where I felt insecure, but didn't judge myself for feeling it. In this moment that was free from being driven by my insecurity (actually my judgement of insecurity) I looked up,  seeing the insecurity of the one who was criticizing me. 

I instantly realized the truth of what my friend had brought to me. Earlier I'd been on the side of passing it on but in that moment I was on the other side, just about to receive it. But chose not to. The choice wasn't to refuse to listen, it was to refuse to judge the other's insecurity. It was interesting. The choice to judge insecurity was one choice. I could not choose to judge theirs and not mine- In one choice both were decided.

As a leader... maybe just as a man, I need to chose to not judge insecurity, mine or others'. Else I will be driven by my own and a victim of another's. In doing so I will find myself busy trying to feel better by criticizing others and judging who they've been. Rather, I can choose to know that insecurity is part of life, put it aside and be driven by my hope for the future that I'm willing to invest in.

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When I am driven by: 

- Insecurity, I will pass it on.

- Awareness of the future and ability to contribute to it, I put down judgement of my own insecurity and so free from using theirs against them.